No hold baby now, Mom.

This was your second five-word sentence, uttered just moments ago. Certainly a bittersweet one. I was explaining to you how when you were little, I held you all the time. You slept on me, I carried you, and I just held you. Almost nonstop. Now that you are 2 years old and bossy, I hardly get to hold you before you start hollering for Dada to come save you. It's true. So I was telling you this, and trying to snuggle with you, when you said "No hold baby now, Mom."

Thanks, dear.

Your first four-word sentence

"No see baby now!"

:)

You were hiding your face from me. You think you can't be seen if you can't see. And then you look at me and say "See baby now!" It's very fun.

I say bun-bun, you say mon-mon

Sweetie,

Since it is bunny season, we are often on the lookout for our long-eared friends. When I say "I see a bun-bun!", You say "Mon-mon?" Of course I think it's adorable.

The snarkier image

Contrary to what you must think, I do not enjoy being pinched, poked, pounded, groped, bit, slapped or shoved. I know, right? Moms these days.

You are so active and much too busy to take effort not to hurt me. So you do cause me minor injury every day. Today you put one of your tractor toys on my exposed calf and then flopped down on it. Some of my skin is now missing. Awesome.

You're 2. What did I expect?

But you're also sweet. You kissed my tractor-bitten leg this morning. Thanks, love.

XOXOXO

But seriously, if I could end one thing, it would be the groping. STOP. IT.

XOXOXO

My child

You possess great power over me. Let me explain.

You can completely shut down my brain function through the simple act of crying. When my baby cries, I can't read. I can't see straight. I can't process basic thoughts. I can't answer questions.

For example: When we were visiting Ken and Kari in Reno, we went to a sandwich shop. As we were ordering, you began wailing in my arms. Your voice pierced through my ear drum and emptied my brain of cognitive ability. I think the restaurant lady was asking if I needed a drink with my sandwich. I couldn't answer. I couldn't do a thing except hold you and panic. You were fine and I knew it, but my brain wouldn't permit me to form a response to the lady. Your Uncle Ken ordered me a drink. I didn't need it - I had a bottle of water from home in my purse. But I could not think well enough to say so.

Also, you sat on my lap this week as I tried to process an overnight shipment to Key West. It was my first overnight shipment ever, and I had to get it done in about 20 minutes to make it out in time. You were tired, or sad, or both. You cried, and in my stress, I asked you to stop crying. You cried harder. I asked you to stop crying again. You cried harder. At this point, you achieved total meltdown of Mommy's brain, and I pulled your sobbing body onto my lap. I couldn't think again until you fell asleep there. We didn't get the shipment out the way I intended, but Plan B worked fine and all was well.

Darling, I need you to use your powers for good and not evil. I hope you know that it's because I am so focused on your health and happiness that one wail from you reduces me to rubble. So please be kind. Try to learn to just fall asleep if you're tired, or close your eyes if you see something that scares you. That will help me look less like a spazzed out idiot in public.

On a sad note, we tried to nurse a baby bunny that a neighbor found rolling around in the dirt. I fed it, let it sleep on a heating pad in a little box, and carried it around in my bra for a couple days. You learned to expect it to be there. You called it "baby mon-mon" because I told you it was a bun-bun. You still pat my chest sometimes and ask if baby mon-mon is there, though I told you it fell asleep forever and Daddy put it outside. Your memory is amazing, and you are ever hopeful that mommy has the mon-mon in her bra. I wish I did, too.

After the bunny died, Grandpa Tractor came to visit for a couple days. You liked him pretty well. He played with you and teased you a lot. You started calling him "Papa" - short for Grandpa, I think. He loves you. He put shutters on our house and built my peas a fence to climb up. He is still learning to understand that you are a sensitive little guy. His sense of humor is generally not very sensitive.

Lastly, today is Mother's Day. It is my third Mother's Day of actual motherhood (cat parenting does not count, I've come to see). I'm still in awe of you, my child, and adore you. You're growing up a little every day. You learn a new word in a snap. Uncle Jake (not really your uncle, but we all like him) taught you what a wine cork is two nights ago, and you got it right away. I was changing your diaper the other day and happened to mention that I was cleaning your poo hole. You caught on immediately, and now like to talk about your poo hole. (Mommy suffers a bit of remorse about that.) And today I taught you how to rub your hands together when washing them, and it's pretty much the cutest thing on earth.

You are taking a nap now. I wish I was snuggling you and smothering you with kisses. Thank you for all that you give me every day. XOXOXO

A heart-burster

WOW! You did something I've only dreamed about!

Two days ago, I said "Mama loves baby! Does baby love mama?" And for the first time ever, you nodded your head! In case it was a coincidence, I asked again. You nodded your head again! I asked if you love dada, and you nodded again.

I felt my heart go from 0 to 60 in a half second. What cuteness!

It's finally really spring here and you are in full appreciation. You want to go outside all the time and play in the dirt. You express yourself clearly by whining and saying "Dut! Dut! Dut!" while smashing yourself against the screen or glass door. How adorable. ;)

Seriously, you are adorable. People tell me all the time. But I already knew. And the only girlfriend you can have is me - until you're at least 25. Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Love you, darling.

In your own words

Doodle, your vocabulary has really grown! Here's what you say now:

9 o'clock: any time of day
Ba: Bus
Ba-ba-bo: Red
Back: Back
Bah: Box
Ball-Ball: Ball
Bee: Bee
Bee: Jeep
Be-eh: Big
Beh: Bed
Bieee: Bike
Bieh: Bite
Bo: Boat
Boo: Boots
Boo: Blue
Bo-uh: Book
Bow: Bowl
Boobies: Boobies
Cach: Clock
Ceese: Cheese
Choo-Choo: Train
Co: Coat
Cold: Cold
Dada: Daddy
Dats: Touch
Dig-Dig: Tractor or construction vehicle
Duh: Dirt
Eee: Eat
Eye: Eye
Fass: Fas
Fi: Fly
Go-Ga-Go: Go
Gocks: Socks
Ha: Hat
Hi: Hi
Ho: Hole
Home: Home
Iieee: Light
Knee: Knee
Mama: Grandma
Mama: Mama
Mao-Mao: Cat
Mieff: Mice
Mine: Mine
Mo-Mo: Elmo
Mo-Mo: More
Moo: Move
Mouff: Mouse
Nadeladeladelana: Banana
Neh: Kleenex
Nees: Sneeze
No: No
No: Snow
Nu-Nu: Nursing
On: On
On: Off
Pa: Paw
Pee: Pee
Pee: Peeper
Pete: Pete
Poo: Poo
Rah: Rock
Ta: Stuck
Ti: Stick
Tit: Sit
Toe: Toe
Too: Shoes
Turt: Shirt
Turts: Church
Two: Two
Uh-Oh: Uh-Oh
Up: Up
Wa: Walk
Wa-Wa: Water
Way: This way/That way
Wiee: White
Wow: Wow

You string together a few phrases, like "more cheese" and "big stick." When we see a Jeep Wrangler (your favorite vehicle by far), you say "Bee! Tats!" You want to touch the Jeeps, and we do whenever we can... Like when they're parked and I think no one is looking. There used to be a great red Jeep at Costco, but they recently replaced it with a different display vehicle. My heart was broken for you; we petted that Jeep every time we went to Costco. You'd start hollering about it when you realized we were turning into the Costco driveway. Poor baby.

Lastly, you and I are sick yet again this year. It's about your fifth cold and my third so far. Here's hoping that the winter is finally ending, and with spring, our health will improve.

Love you, tiny Toodle.